Educate, and empower all to embrace our unique body types. Dr. M Embracing Our Unique Body Types
Check it out! Starting at 36:15 to the end of the show (1 hour) Dr. Marylou – Clinical Sexologist and Michael Gogin – Actor, Singer/Songwriter share their respective professional expertise to promote a “Meet the Biz” workshop they are conducting together titled: “Enhance Your Sensuality On and Off the Set” on the Ann Walker Show. Had a lot of fun!
I was recently featured in an article for AASECT’s Contemporary Sexuality with my colleagues: “What Able-Bodied People Should Know About Disability and Sexuality” AASECT Contemporary Sexuality June 2015
What is your Sexability?
As a Sexuality Educator, Speaker, and Life Coach Dr. Marylou draws from her formal education and life experiences as a person of short stature. Standing at a statuesque 3’11” she developed a “High10 Your Life” approach to managing life’s magical, yet often unpredictable journey.
Got Questions? Get Answers! Contact Dr. Marylou today!
Dr. Marylou is a media sexologist. In private practice working with individuals and couples;she also conducts explicit entertaining sex and relationship workshops for all people who desire to heighten their sensuality and intimacy.
If you think SIZE matters, then Dr. Marylou is the one to checkout today.
Dr. Marylou speaks from her point of view as a “Little Person” standing at 3 feet 11 inches tall, she’s America’s Little Sexologist talking about sex in a BIG way!
Her sex positive message is embraced by people of all sexual expression, orientation, and identities.
Dr. Marylou conducts explicit educational and entertaining sex and relationship workshops, for all people who desire to heighten their sensuality and intimacy. She shares fun creative techniques, sex positions, and a variety of adult toys that are suited to your range of mobility. She also holds private and group sessions for teens, adult individuals and/or couples.
Learn how to raise your level of “Sexability”
One of her goals is to bring forth issues regarding sensuality and intimacy for ALL people.
She introduces creative techniques, sex positions, and a variety of adult devices that are suited to your range of mobility, to achieve optimal fulfillment in sexual expression. Dr. Marylou also conducts educational sexuality and disability trainings for students and professional clinicians in the fields of Sexology, Sex Therapy, and Physical Rehabilitation. She personally believes that everyone is disabled or “differently-abled” in one way or another. “It’s all a matter of degree, and whether your condition is visibly noticeable” she states. You can have a very passionate and erotic experience without intercourse or orgasm…either alone or with your partner. Ultimately the real sensual experience is enjoying the self-discovery of giving and receiving pleasure and the emotional connection/intimate bonding that you create with each other.
Medical technology today affords us the benefit of living longer and healthier lives. But many live with the survival scars of an accident or injury, cancer, heart attack, stroke, or other health conditions. Normal progression of aging, medication, recovering from a surgery, declining physical stamina, stress, and your overall mental health are all conditions that can limit the quality of your everyday SEX life unless you and/or your partner make a conscious decision to raise your level of “Sexability.”
My wife has back problems with pain all of the time. She also has arthitis. This make sex hard for us. Do you have any suggestion on position the we could use?
Good question! Back and arthritis pain is a common ailment for so many people. The first thing I would do is to have a discussion with your wife about what is pleasurable and not pleasurable when you’ve had sex in the past. Then discuss what body position and movement is most painful when she is not having sex. Use this information to create the most conducive intimate experience for both of you. Make your discussion a fun and non-critical experience with lose fitting clothing on and not during a time when you are going to have sex. Share what is comfortable for you and what your desires are too.
For example, find out if:
- She can kneel or stand comfortably? If yes, for how long before pain sets in?
- Can she lay on her back, with legs flat down comfortably or is it better with knees raised and bent?
- Is a reclining position better with a small pillow for support under her lower back?
- What is her comfortable range of strength and mobility?
- Does she have medical instructions from her doctor that prevents her from doing certain body movements?
- Did she have surgery or have areas on her body that is sensitive or painful to touch?
You stated she has arthritis pain. Find out when and where she has the most or least amount of pain.
- Is the pain most prevalent in the evening after a long busy day?
- Does she feel most relaxed and pain free after a hot bath or massage?
- Does she have less pain if she takes a nap or rest first?
If she is on pain medication, monitor the timing of when the medication is most effective and plan ahead. It can take 20 – 45 minutes after taking the dose before it kicks in. Together, try to create and plan your day ahead of time that will result in the least amount of pain and discomfort for her before having sex.
Don’t worry about spontaneity, your wife will appreciate that you’re planning ahead and thinking about her well-being. A big turn on for most women, is when her partner does the errands or household chores. This gives her the time and rest to be re-charged and ready for you!
Check out the creative positions below to get you started on experimentation.
Illustrations by: Irene Yuan
Cool products to check out, available on my website: www.high10yourlife.com:
I would like to recommend that you purchase a wedge cushion. If doggy style is difficult and causes pain in her back, put a wedge underneath her hips to take off the strain. Wedges are also great for underneath her hips when laying on her back. Test with different sizes. Liberator.com has a wonderful assortment.
Give your partner a helping hand to keep his/her body in place. Ideal for those with limited mobility and strength. Using balance and leverage, the sex sling can help ease you comfortably into new erotic discoveries! Adjustable straps with neck support. Available in black and cheetah.
Experience the sensual and therapeutic benefits of The Heart Warmer Massager. Use on sore or stiff muscles, arthritis pain, PMS cramps or warm each other’s body for an unforgettable hot erotic massage! Use with out or with any massage oil. The heart shaped heat pack is simple to activate, lasts for 30 mins, easy to use and feels amazing on your skin. Reusable! Just heat in boiling water for 7 – 10 minutes and let cool.
Please remember…to remove the performance anxiety quotient and allow the opportunity to dialogue and explore with your partner about what is pleasurable. Ultimately, the real sensual experience is the emotional connection and intimate bonding that you create with each other!
I recently received an interesting inquiry from a passionate and vibrant 67 year old disabled woman seeking help. She was a lot of fun to talk to and very upfront with her concerns. Annie was upset because the last time she had an orgasm was over two months ago and to put it her words: “ oh dear, I am going nuts, I want my orgasms back!!” I eagerly took the challenge in search of reclaiming her orgasms…
Intrigued, I talked with her for awhile and here is her story. Annie lives with short stature, standing at approximately 4 ½ feet tall, her husband was of “average size” who sadly suddenly died last year.
With no family or support network to help her, she has been unable to take of herself since becoming a widow and was forced to live in an assisted living residence. She suffers from back and spinal problems that typically affects people at a later age with her type of dwarfism. She has a hard time standing, walking, and loses her balance easily. She is often in a wheelchair or uses a walker in her room. When she was younger her career included being an elementary school teacher and an exotic belly dancer. She has always been very athletic and physically fit in her younger days.
She has a long torso and exceptionally short arms. She can only reach slightly above her waist line. She had a very healthy and active sex life when she was married and was able to have pleasure in achieving multiple orgasms and loved having sex with her husband. We talked about her current medications: she has been taking an anti-depressant and high blood pressure meds for many years and while it may take longer at times, it has not limited her overall sexual pleasure thus far.
I asked her to tell me about her last orgasm two months ago. She explained that the only way she can reach to stimulate herself is by holding herself up with one hand while standing legs apart at the side of her bed and leaning way over with her other hand she massages her clit with a magic wand type of vibrator. But now, she is unable to stand as long, gets tired very quickly in this position and needs to sit down because her back is in so much pain or loses balance. She says holding the vibrator is heavy, cumbersome, and harder to manage. Unfortunately, when she sits down to rest, she is totally unable to reach her clit to continue with self-stimulation and loses the motivation to try again.
I asked her how many inches away was her hand to her clit? Can she measure the distance for me? Maybe ask a nurse or aid at the facility to measure? She said there was no way they would be agreeable to do that because the staff does not discuss the sexual needs of the residents. This was not news to me, and pressed on to find a resolution. I asked if she had a sheet of paper or legal size envelope laying around…she found a legal size envelope and we proceeded to use this as a gage to measure the distance from her hand to her vagina area.
She estimated it was almost 1½ envelopes away. I measured an envelope and determined that it was approximately 12 inches. I immediately recommended that she get the Flex Stimulator Gerbil vibrator. After using the Gerbil, she was able to reclaim her orgasms and is able to comfortably stimulate herself while reclining in her chair or bed with ease! She told me it was an absolute godsend.
I often highly recommend two different sized vibrators that I sell on my website that are very popular for people who are unable to reach or have manual dexterity challenges. A really nice feature about these vibes is that they are a powerful battery operated stimulator with a smooth jelly coated flexible shaft for the versatility to bend and curve at any angle or direction, or use in any position. You can bend it easily to insert and comfortably reach all your pleasure zones. May also be used for male stimulation/genital play.
Flex Stimulator Gerbil – length is 14″ base to tip.